Vision Over Goals
Living in Possibility
Last week, I wrote about the power and importance of reflection as we approach the end of the year. This is also the time of year when we all look ahead. We think about what we want to change, what we want to become, and what we want to achieve. We set goals and make resolutions—lose the weight, get the new job, finally start that creative project. We map out our destinations.
I’m trying not to think about destinations anymore. I’m thinking about vision—who I want to be and how I want to live, starting right now.
What I have learned over time, through experience, is that the habits that actually stuck in my life had no finish line. I didn’t journal every day for three months and then stop. I am not building a meditation practice to check a box. The habits that lasted became part of me because the practice itself was the point. The goal was the journey. These aren’t things I did—they’re part of who I am.
The goal may be to lose weight, but the vision is to live with more energy and vitality in a body that feels lighter and healthier.
The goal may be to journal every day, but the vision is to create a practice where you reflect, dream, and care for yourself.
The goal may be to drink less alcohol, but the vision is a clearer mind, better sleep, and internal joy.
Goals have finish lines. Vision is about how you want to live, now and always.
You’ve probably heard of SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-based. This framework has its place—being specific helps, and measuring progress matters. But I want to talk about those middle two: achievable and relevant.
Who gets to decide what’s achievable and relevant for you? These two words are an open invitation for your inner critic to show up to the party. Your inner critic was formed in childhood to keep you safe and protected. She doesn’t like you to take risks. She wants you to believe in the illusion of control and predictability.
When you think of an amazing vision for your life and then ask yourself if it’s achievable and relevant, notice what happens. The word possible morphs into the word probable. I feel it every time.
This is your inner critic raising her hand: “Sure, I mean, maybe you could achieve that, but look at all the times you haven’t. Don’t you want to think of something more likely and safe?”
What you achieve in life—what you do consistently, the actions you take—is a direct result of the beliefs you’ve created about what you’re capable of. And those beliefs come from your thoughts. If you start with the limiting questions of what’s achievable and relevant, it’s only natural that automatic limiting thoughts will guide your beliefs and actions toward what’s probable.
I want to start my year thinking about what’s possible. When I change probable to possible, I feel my heart expand. I’m not limited to what my inner critic wants me to believe I’m worthy or capable of—because my inner critic is rooted in fear.
What if we flipped failure and rejection on their heads? Instead of avoiding them, we could thank them for showing up on our journey, for showing us what we can survive, for helping us grow. Then we can live in possibilities instead of probabilities. A full life is built with intention, courage, and trust in what’s possible.
What if the stumbling blocks were always stepping stones? What if it’s only in the way you look at it? What if avoiding problems actually keeps you from moving forward? What if staying in your comfort zone keeps you small? What if the important question is not what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail, but what would you do if you knew you would fail along the way? That is courage and trust.
The story we tell ourselves in our heads becomes the life we live.
Maybe this year, instead of goals or resolutions, you create a vision for your life that starts with these two questions:
How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning?
How do you want to feel when you go to bed at night?
These two questions have become the guiding force behind the thoughts I choose, the ones that become my beliefs and guide my actions. This is a constant process with no ending point. The journey is the destination.
How you want to feel in the morning is a question about purpose and energy. Do you want to wake up feeling rested and ready to engage with what opportunities and challenges the day may bring?
How you want to feel when you get into bed at night is a question about living in alignment with your values. Are you drained from your day? Grateful?
For many years, I had a relationship with alcohol that I wasn’t happy with. Drinking was relaxing and fun, but I also woke up foggy and sometimes with hangxiety. I rationalized my actions, but deep down I wanted to change. I tried SMART goals with some success—I was completely capable of cutting back. I was specific about how many drinks I could have each week and measured my progress by tracking them.
But it wasn’t until I really asked myself, with love, how do I want to feel when I wake up in the morning? that everything shifted. I realized I wanted to always wake up clear-headed and energized without having to even think about planning out when I would “enjoy” a drink. I realized I could just not drink at all. As soon as I had that thought, I felt free.
When I think about how I want to feel when I go to bed at night, I want to feel like I’ve cared for myself and others. I want to feel grateful for the life I have. These answers guide my thoughts, beliefs, and actions. They help me prioritize the ways I care for myself and others.
I want my answers to be rooted in self-love, where possibility is limitless. I want to be curious about where my path might lead if I trust in my vision and how I want to feel in my life—grounded, inspired, unafraid to pursue goals, not limited by what I foresee as probable.
The thoughts we choose become our beliefs and our actions and our lives. When we choose possibility over probability, we give ourselves permission to grow beyond what we thought we were capable of.
Your inner critic will tell you to play it safe. To be realistic. To choose what’s probable.
But what if this year, you chose what’s possible instead?
Here is the work -
Write a letter to yourself in the future, a year from now or five years from now. How are you proud of this future self? How do they feel when they wake up in the morning? What do they see? What do they do? Who are they with? How do they spend their two most precious resources - time and energy? How do they feel when they go to bed at night? Just write whatever comes up. There is no wrong answer. Just try to imagine it instead of predicting it. Living with an attitude of what is possible does not mean that it will all come true, but it leaves you open to whatever comes your way.
I am so proud of you for showing up!
If you want to work with me, I offer wellness coaching sessions. You can reach out to me directly at radicalwellnessinfo@gmail.com if you have questions.
